Time for some Space in your Togetherness

Posted by Lachmi Deb Roy on Wed, Aug 1, 2012  
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If you are tired of waiting for your husband or boy friend to take you to the dance class, then I guess it is time that you do it alone. I am sure you are going to have a blast. You go for social dos together, you work out together, go for trips together, thinking that these are all parts of being in a happy relationship. But you are absolutely wrong. In a relationship you need space otherwise it gets suffocating both for your partner and you.


Psychologist, Seema  Hingorani has to say, “Many relationships are not happy and healthy because there is absolutely no separateness in them. There is no space.”  This kind of relationships where there is absolutely no space becomes the breeding ground of insecurity because we feel that we cannot do without each other. Space is very important for our own growth.


It is only happy and confident individuals that can make happy couple. You know all his friends and he too knows all your friends, but that doesn’t mean you need to hang out all the time together. If you can’t remember when was the last time you hung out with your friends without your man, it is time to fix an outing with your friends without your man.


My girl friends and my husband know each other well, but since I know that he might get bored sometimes, I never mix them up. Initially when we were newly married, we used to go out every time with his friends and their wives, but it was later that we realized that I like my time alone with my set of friends and so does he with his.


You may have been pestering him to join a yoga class or a salsa class together for years, but he has not done it. May be his interests and your interests are different. He wants to go for tennis, which again you are not interested in. It is time to go solo. I am sure you will have loads of fun and you will make some good new friends.

I have never gone on a holiday alone or for that matter gone for a vacation alone. This time I have decided I am going to go for a holiday with my friends. Psychologist, Seema Hingoranii says, “Going for a holiday without your partner can be an amazing, liberating experience.” So it is time that you realize that there should be space in your togetherness!


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