Mama’s Pet is that you?

Posted by Lachmi Deb Roy on Mon, Nov 26, 2012  
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It is difficult for parents to admit, but we all know that at some point of time or the other that they all have a child whom they love or favour a little bit more than others.


I have heard many of the parents drawing comparison amongst their kids. Parents do have a favourite child. Psychiatrists consider it to natural or rather human to be drawn to one parent over another; even parenthood cannot neutralize this tendency.


I remember one of my neighbours used to constantly draw a comparison between her daughter and son. The daughter was good in studies and used to come first in class and hence she was rewarded at home also with fancy gifts. The son used to feel deprived. He stopped interacting with anybody. Soon he showed signs of behavioural problems, and family had no other option, but to see a counselor.


Another friend of mine, Ragini Ray has to say, “I love both my children. But because my daughter is more like me, I tend to spend more time with her than my son. She is just like me and we love to play world power together. She is an absolute darling and so creative.”


Sibling rivalry is getting very common because we have the tendency to play favourites. Sometimes knowingly or unknowingly without understanding the sentiments o the other child we try to draw a comparison and also tell them to be like the other one who in our eyes appear to be better to us.


“My younger daughter is very naughty and mischievous. On the other hand my elder daughter is so well behaved. She never troubled me the way my younger one troubles me. So I constantly tell my younger sister to be like her elder sister. I don’t consider being favouritism. But off late I am noticing that she is becoming more stubborn and she has completely stopped talking to her elder sister,” says Sujata K, a mother.


Parents should accept that they are doing favouritism and since both the kids are theirs, it is their duty not to hurt the feelings of the others. Psychologist Dr. Ananiya Luthra, says, “When children are victims of favouritism the react in a very different way. They try to crave or attention at home and even in school because she does not get that from her parents. It can be really depressing for the child. As parents you should make a conscious effort to be fair to all your kids and treat them equally with the same love and affection!”



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