“Anyone can be angry-that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not easy.” -Aristotle
Emotional Intelligence, a construct created by Peter Salavoy and John Mayer and popularized by Daniel Goleman, is an individual’s ability to perceive, evaluate, control and express emotions. Early on, a person was said to be intelligent if he/she performed well in academia, meaning, they were termed intelligent if they scored well in their exams, or the speed and accuracy of a mathematical calculation and so on.
Over time, research showed that the so-called ‘intelligent’, being recognized that way, did not necessarily make them successful in life and that there were a number of other qualities one needed to possess in order to be successful - one of these being - Emotional Intelligence.
A fun thing about Emotional Intelligence is that it can be learnt - one can train to be emotionally intelligent by honing the following skills -
Introspection - what I call the inward spiral - going within to gain an insight into your own mind and have a deeper understanding of what is going on within, has proven to be extremely beneficial in terms of understanding thought patterns, self-limiting beliefs, which in-turn gives us an indication of what is it that could lead us to behaving a certain way or being triggered to react rather that respond to a situation.
A very simple technique that helps you introspect efficiently is the ‘Paris Window’ - answering the following four questions that lead to you have a deeper understanding of the underlying unresolved emotions -
Once you have answers to all these questions, especially question number four, you could now pen down things you need to do to help you experience the feelings mentioned in question four - this could be your goal towards a leading a happier and healthier life and letting go off old baggages.
Practicing introspection keeping in mind the skills you need to hone for emotional intelligence, could be an extremely powerful tool in maintaining a happy and balanced life mentally, emotionally and therefore physically as well.
In todays time, where the opportunity to have personal meaningful interactions is reducing, and the opportunity to vent to a loved one or a dear friend is being compromised, it is important to build on your inner-strength to be able to run the rat-race without breaking down. As much as physical activity is important to help you keep your body fit, so is the need to maintain a healthy mind and reinvigorate the mind-body-soul connection, and work towards holistic wellbeing.
Times are tough now, probably ever than before for most of us, I know, but hang in there, we will see this through too! Stay safe and stay positive!