Dealing with your Selfish Man

When he is on a ‘me and mine’ trip and your needs, desires, likes and dislikes are pushed aside. Sometimes I worry about my girl friends when listening to their conversation makes me realize that how much they think about their men? Life is too large don’t hold your guys so close to your eyes that you block out the large life in front of you. So don’t give your guy undue importance that you lose yourself.

When you see relationship from this angle, you become sweetly serenely detached and you do not allow his self centeredness get under your skin. This I would say is a gorgeous beginning. Then become spiritually and intellectually analytical. Remember this simple thing that you cannot change his nature no matter how hard you try you cannot change your guy overnight. You can nag, cry and complain, but every time you do so, you end up hammering your heart and turning your eyes bloodshot and you end up draining yourself out of energy. He will storm back and point out negative things about you. And before you even realize, it will be just round and round the mulberry bush. He might apologize or may not, but remember even if he does he will continue with his selfish ways. Well selfishness and self indulgence has by now become an inseparable part of his life.

Similarly you too drop your ego and your spirits will soar. Visualize the big life in front of you. Why remain in the boat of mental smallness. Rise up in the sky. Try to find out as to why he is selfish? Psychologist, Seema Hingorani says, “Selfishness comes from fear. When a person is scared, he lies, he evades, denies and thinks obsessively only about himself. When he is fearful, he cannot be thoughtful. He becomes fearful when things don’t go according to his plans or wishes. And he tries to resist everything that everybody does.” His selfishness is like an untreated infection. Just tell him firmly right at his face that his behavior is just not acceptable.

Try to be patient. Explain to him calmly that his attitude is bad for his health and well being. Teach him to understand and teach him to be patient with himself. Patience can neutralize the power of hostility and prevent suffering from anger’s devastating effects.