10 Commandments for a Great Relationship

Posted by Lakshmi Gopal on Mon, Feb 14, 2011  
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Most people start off on a relationship with the magical words ‘I love you’ and ‘I do’. But then, very quickly, the magic melts, the sheen disappears, and love starts to wither away. There are plenty of things, big or small, that may happen to wreck an otherwise great equation. Here’s what can kill a romantic relationship and how to save it from falling apart.

1. Thou shalt not be dishonest: Money -- it's the root of all evils, as they say. Do not be a Shylock in your pairing. Transparency, honesty, and being scrupulous pays - you shall see, the trust in your relationship will never fade away.


2. Be passionate with your partner, and say no to infidelity: You must want to be with your partner and get excited by him/her to keep the romance alive. A sexless marriage or unfaithfulness can extinguish love quicker than blowing out a candle. Don't let the flame burn out and try to renew your sex life.


3. Do not disrespect your partner: Couples who belittle each other, say insulting things, or yell at one another, cut the chances of their relationship’s survival. Also, do not spread stories about your partner in the neighborhood, at the club, or in office.


4. Pay attention to the children: Some live for them, others would rather do without them. Make sure to keep things in balance with your partner, so you have the energy to deal with any child issues. Remember, when you bring up the children well, half the battle is already won – you are high up in your partner’s esteem.


5. Do not encourage opposite-sex friends: Do not pay undue attention to opposite- sex friends. If you don’t want your spouse/partner to dine out and have drinks with a member of the opposite sex, then you need to follow the same guidelines.


6. Do not be resentful: Don’t hold your pain, hurt or anger inside. If you are harboring some resentment talk it out and put the matter to rest, so you can enjoy your relationship. Try and answer questions posed to you by your partner, instead of clamping up.


7. Do not lie/break promises: Even if you’re afraid of getting into trouble, tell the whole truth and don’t break promises, and find a way to make up for past mistakes. Never say, ‘So what if I lied to you?’ or ‘This is how it is after marriage’. Remember, it matters to your partner who married you for love and companionship.


8. Do not be lazy: Keeping a relationship going strong and exuberant is hard work, and if you are unwilling to do it, your connection will diminish. You will soon begin to resent your partner on account of your own shortcomings.


9. Do not be mean: Do you punish your partner when you don’t get your way? Do the two of you give each other the silent treatment? Then you are definitely headed for a lifetime of emotional pain. Stop the nastiness and learn to talk about it.


10. Try not to live in discomfort: If you are living in a construction zone, it’s pretty hard to feel comfortable. Injury or illness can create a similar situation. Your home should be a place of serenity, so if you are remodelling or are dealing with physical issues, make your comfort a priority.



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