Wives having fun!

We live in an age of extreme liberation where porn has openly hit the dusty lanes and by lanes of India and woman today do not hesitate to experiment with their sex lives. The current trend of the season is ‘infidelity of the wives’. This is a syndrome where the husbands are broad minded enough to accept their wife’s boyfriend.

 WOMEN’S TURN

Globalisation has given rise to an adventurous outlook towards sex. Women today have come out of the four walls of the house not only to go out for work, but have also started   experimenting with their sex lives. For many years, the issue of Extramarital Affairs was assumed to be a “women’s issue”—that is, women dealing with their husbands’ affairs. While large numbers of husbands are still having affairs, there has been a significant increase in the number of wives having affairs.

Many women despite being married are openly flaunting their boyfriends in high society party circles. “With husbands having high profile carriers with cool seven figures salary every month has resulted in the neglect of personal life. Caught up in a hectic schedule there is little time for sex. Sex which used to fill up the gap of leisure time, has now been replaced by other priorities,” says Sudeshna Lahari, a social worker from Mumbai. She further explains, “These days’ women especially housewives feel neglected and they have extramarital affairs to feel alive.”

Many women find the thought of having sex with other people to be very attractive and sensual. As a result, to look for love in the arms of other men acts as a catalyst for enhancing their own sex lives.

Falling in love is a magic laden moment. But, reality does take over. From oh, so understanding lovers, we become demanding, resentful, judgmental individuals wondering why our partners no longer want what we want, feel what we feel and react exactly as we do. And then comes the thought that maybe another man might have understood us better.

EASY ALTERNATIVE

Often we want to hold on to relationships because we are frightened by alternatives. Priyanka Roy, a financial consultant with a multinational company, emphatically agrees with this. For the last one year she is having quite a steamy office affair with her co-worker. “This affair has changed my life completely for the better. I had an arranged marriage and after the initial euphoria and excitement which lasted for just six months problems cropped up which created a gulf between us. In spite of living together under the same roof because our parents would not hear of a divorce, we are like absolute strangers. He is also having an affair with his college mate and is aware of my affair too. But it is okay with both of us.”

PSYCHOLOGICAL VIEW

Varkha Chulani, a Mumbai based psychologist explains this situation to be an easy alternative because couples are too busy these days to go through the tedious process of divorce.

In addition, when sexual attraction breaks out from truly committed relationship and runs loose, the question is not what it is running towards, but rather what it is running from. In this situation looking for love else where tends to be a life pattern triggered by fear (of commitment, of being loved, of waking up with the same person every morning.)

In today’s society people generally have marriages of convenience. According to Varkha Chulani, “This condition of wives having affair generally arises in eighty percent marriages today because there is very little communication with each other.” So, what gives rise to this situation?

*Some women have affairs to take revenge on their cheating husbands.

* A strong desire for being the centre of man’s attention and to inject some adventure in her life.

*A desire for emotional closeness and intimacy.

* To feel validated as a women (reaffirming her desirability)

*To re-experience feeling of romance.

*A desire to feel special.

*boredom

*loneliness

*sexual excitement.

When a woman is looking for love out side marriage she has no intention of leaving her husband. She just wants to have some fun. For women who has been married for many years and has led the life of a housewife and whose whole life revolved around looking after house, kids and husband, it becomes natural for them to search for adventure outside marriage. Suddenly when she meets somebody who showers her with a lot of attention she falls in to the trap of having an affair.

Men too has accepted this situation because he does not want to go into any legal hassle. After spending so many years of togetherness he has got used to his wife being a part of his life. Thirdly it gives him an opportunity to freak around with other girls. So, honey isn’t it a comfortable set up after all?