Why Men Leave Women?

Thought that you know your man inside out, but there is a side to them that women have probably not understood. From this unexplored side emerges the shocking reasons why men leave women?

Fifteen years ago life was simple, boy met a girl-went together for movies, had coffee together and then if one got lucky hit the sack. It was eternal love back then, boy did not leave the girl and ran away, they grinned and got married and lived happily ever after. In the last ten years things have changed. Pressures of urban living have taken their toll and all over the country, men and women walk out of relationships. For men and women view relationships differently, in many ways. To men, relationships (and particularly commitment) often mean responsibility, a lack of freedom, stress, the need to earn more, etc. Ask a man and he will be coming up with a list of some of the most important reasons why men leave women instead of loving them.

Literary personality Anil Dharkar says, "In my experience, women start nagging because they feel that men aren't doing their jobs. Women constantly tell me they want men who are active, involved participants in their relationships. Here's the interesting part: they secretly tell me that they just wish men would take control."

Today, the image of 'strong woman' is all over the media. Most men appreciate women who have a direction in their life. However, women secretly long for the 'knight in shinning armour' to come riding up to sweep them off their feet. What tends to happen instead is that men being confused about what women really want-do little or nothing. "Men in most cases don't take the initiative to direct relationship. So women feel they have to do it. And frankly speaking most women are not happy doing it. Obviously, most women aren't going to get their men act by brute force, so they tend to retort to other more familiar patterns-like nagging. Once men get fed up with the nagging they leave," says renowned celebrity psychologist Anjali Chabria.

Model and ex-Mr. India, Viraf Patel feels, "Many women are under the false belief that men don't know they are being manipulated. They nag uselessly to make us do things we don't want to. But they should understand that we  have focuses in our lives just like women do. Our jobs are an example. Huge pressure to succeed are put on us by our families, our bosses and society in general. We are in competition with every other man out there to be successful. Added stress in our lives through being manipulated by our women can cause many of us to bolt for the nearest unlocked door."

If women cannot get their men to do what they want or be who they want them to be, they start trying to undermine their stubbornness in frustration. They do this by trying to tear down their egos. In fact, many actually succeed! They accuse their man of not being the man they fell in love with. They accuse them of not giving them of what they have promised a few years back. It is natural for man to get tired of this abuse, and set sail for smoother waters.

It's almost a joke that women are attracted to the 'bad boy' image. But as the relationship progresses they believe that they can turn them into who they want them to be. "When a woman succeeds to change us in their own fashion we are accused of not being the man they fell in love with. If they can't change us we are labelled as stubborn. My question is: If you don't like me the way I am, why did you get involved with me in the first place? Once we change we often don't like who we have become. And, in an attempt to get the guy we lost back, we change our surroundings and our women," says ad-man Prasoon Joshi.

Sometimes women turn up into completely different people. For example she gains weight, looses interest in sex, stop doing thing she used to do when they first started dating, starts spending money, or focuses on things that others have and expects them in her relationship. This change is for the worst, and women expect men to understand these changes.

Men want women who are involved with their lives-not just those who show up for sex and free drinks. This doesn't mean that men expect women to cook and clean all the time either. Designer Nikhil Mehra says, "We want women who are genuinely interested in what we do and who we are. We want them to be concerned and supportive. We want them to think that we are funny, brave and cute. And we want them involved in our relationships and I consider my self lucky to have that kind of woman as my wife."

It is not just the women who have to be blamed, men too drive women to do things for which they get blamed. Sometimes a good talk, a hot cup of coffee does more wonders than an argument. And yes being honest to the relationship!