You heard the door slam!!! Your child walks into her room, there is pin drop silence around
You try knocking at the door….and there is no response.
A minute ago your teen daughter was in a good mood the next minute she starts shouting, stumbles over a mathematical problem, slams the door again. Parents remain confused with their child’s irrational behavior.
The culprit for this kind of behavior could be the hormones which trigger such sudden, erratic and impulsive behavior in teenagers. Pre-frontal cortex in the brain centre of teenagers is not matured and hence this could be one of the reasons for this brash behavior.
Tantrums happen when children face frustration and stress which they are unable to handle. A tantrum carries with it other emotions too - feelings of fear, jealousy, being unloved. Teenagers often feel prevented from doing what they want to do.
Adolescence is a very sensitive period, many teenagers cannot manage their feelings –they tend to shout, slam doors without any valid reason. But the actual cause to the problem is not their bad behavior, but the refusal of teenagers to understand their new found feelings.
The most common causes of conflict with teenagers seem trivial-listening to loud music in their room, clumsiness and so on. Quite often if parents confront their children, their attitude towards life takes a turn for the worse and they tend to rebel.
Parents should remember that though your teenager may be taller than you and all grown up, but at the end of the day they still remain kids who need your guidance and most of all love. As parents you must understand them, sit down with them patiently and work on the problem and arrive at some kind of a solution.
Try to have a positive conversation. Watch what you speak, teenagers tend to be rude and petulant. Praising your child often, is the most powerful tool for improving behavior. Focus on the behavior you most want to change…like messiness, or not doing work on time. Try to be welcoming and friendly at the same time and giving them enough space and privacy.
So next time you confront a torrential teen, take a deep breath and remember- Treat the cause and not the symptoms….