Supporting your Friend

Posted by Lachmi Deb Roy on Wed, Jul 4, 2012  
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Supporting a friend through a tough patch is not easy. I remember when my friend lost her father, she was completely heartbroken. I too did not know how to face her. It may sound insensitive, but I really didn’t know what to say.


Psychologist Seema Hingorani says that the best way to deal with the situation is not to say anything. It is true that people are uncomfortable with silence, yet in such situation it is better to stay quite than to say something stupid. Just give them a hug and tell them that you will be there for them.


Give them space. The pain of loss is something that everyone needs to deal with. For some people getting over the shock and grief takes a few months, for some it may take years. It is our duty to give the person space to grieve.


People going through this phase generally get into depression and they go inside a shell. One thing you can do to make them feel better is to take them out for a movie or a quite lunch to basically to make them feel better. Don’t give him or her to many advises on how to deal with the situation. Everyone grieves differently, so avoid telling the bereaved what they should be feeling or doing.


Some people get over difficult situations fast where as others take time. Be supportive to your friends on those special days like their birthdays, anniversaries or holidays when they actually miss the presence of the person they have lost.


Look out for  certain signs like if the person constantly keeps mentioning about death or suicide, is unable to carry on with his regular routine, stops socializing completely and is into alcohol and drug abuse. Then he/she needs professional help.


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