Making Love last in Marriages

If love is blind, marriage can sometimes be an eye-opener. Love lasts as long as the attraction stays alive- the initial chemistry and the strong desire to connect. We need to work real hard to make love last.

When two people get married, they carry along with them two different histories. There need to be a healthy blend of the histories for the relationship to work. Marriage is not only about finding the right partner; it is about being the right partner. Many a time men and women stop talking to each other because there is not much to talk about. Women in a relationship get burnt out because of the high expectation level from every corner. The expectations of being a good mother, wife, daughter, and daughter-in-law are a huge part of their identity.

In conscious good relationship, couples learn to stop the cycle of wounding each other and indulge in more caring bahaviour. Psychologist, Dr. Seema Hingorani say, “Communication is not about pointing fingers, but about recognizing needs, setting a space and time to talk and getting your partner to listen with empathy and he should be working towards those needs and fulfilling them.”

Marriage needs to evolve and change as time passes. The space that the two people occupy must expand to accommodate others. If we do not grow as individuals, we will not have the skills to navigate its different cycles. In to days marriages with hectic schedules the man and woman each have their respective work domains and with this though the ‘I’ and the ‘you’ part of the marriage is well taken care of while the ‘we’ starts shrinking and suffering.

Over the years, romance is forgotten and disenchantment sets in, making you wonder if this was the man you fell in love with all those years ago. Then it is time to ask yourself the question when was it the last time you called your husband just to tell him that you love him. It is time to rekindle those dying fires.