Dealing with Infidelity

Posted by Lachmi Deb Roy on Mon, Nov 19, 2012  
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When your loved one leaves you or for that matter double times you for another person it can be painfully devastating. But when he comes back to you, it is entirely your decision to accept him back in your life or not. Today I am going to deal with the fact that why men or for that matter women stray?


When you find out that when your once trusted partner has cheated on you it can be actually very painful. Your whole life appears to be a pack of cards breaking in front of you. A man woman relationship which is built on love and trust is very delicate. Once that trust is broken it becomes absolutely difficult for the relationship to be same again. But the question is should you forgive your partner who has actually cheated on you or should you end the relationship forever?


There is a lot of blaming game that goes on. But let me tell you there can be no black or white decision. A relationship out of marriage can be just an eye opener as to whether you have actually given enough time and understanding to the relationship or not.


There are some steps by which you can make this messy situation actually to come to an end. Accept the fact that you are feeling betrayed and your self esteem has been shaken and sometimes you are just broken into pieces from within. But let me tell you that there can be no better healer than time. Time in fact is the best healer.


If you feel that relationship is the most important thing in your life and you feel that your partner is repentant for what he or she has done then put in an effort to forgive him.


Go for some couple counseling. An experienced counselor will be able to tell you where your relationship is heading and how both of you should work on it.


Don’t take hasty decision in a state of anger and hurt. Be cool and calm and think about the whole relationship. Especially when you have children and you don’t have a good carrier to fall back upon and handle the situation you need to be practical. Take your own time and space and then move on.


Let the tears flow and please don’t bottle it up. It will make you feel much lighter from within. Ask for a clarification to all your doubts to your partner. Ask him as much questions you feel like, but remember that you will get answers to only a few of them and not all. When you take any decision regarding your life remember that you are just one person and that there are also other people in the relationship who are equally hurt. Just for once be practical and not emotional.


As it is kids get disturbed when they can smell that there is a misunderstanding between the parents. Don’t play the blame game in front of kids, but at the same time don’t keep them in the dark completely. They are a very important part of the family and hence every decision you make you should keep them in mind. Tell them that the two of you are having some issues and that soon everything is going to be fine. Try and find out why such a situation happened. If it is just a one night stand with no emotional bonding, then it becomes easier to forgive.


If your partner is repeatedly offending you by cheating, it is definitely time or you to walk out of the relationship. And if it is just an isolated incident then ask your partner if he is willing from within himself to mend the relationship with you and give it a new start. Also ask if he is willing to cut off from his association with the other person. When you are taking any major decision think about your children because they came to this world because of you. Again fighting like cats and dogs in front of your children is definitely not a good idea, and then it is best that the marriage should end. But be practical weigh all pros and cons and then take a decision. When it is just you and there is nobody else who is going to get involved like kids or old parents, then it becomes much easier to take the decision. How to choose to deal with this messy situation is entirely your decision.



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