What works in Parenting?

Parents of our generation used to punish their children by locking them in a room and hitting them to inculcate good behaviour, so punishment was seen as an accepted way to discipline the child. Rewards were also given for good behaviour. But expecting rewards and punishments constantly may make the child expect rewards for every positive action of his.

Though, I will definitely not say that rewards and punishment are the only way to modify a child’s behaviour. The reward and punishment method may also deter the child from rationalizing for him self about what is wrong or right, ethical and unethical. Learning should be a natural process where the child goes through certain experiences and then reflects on his behaviour and consequences (both positive and negative).

In today’s fast moving world, the concept of culture and values has undergone a sea change and bringing up a child is also about learning, morals, emotional development and peer group influence.

There are certain ways by which you can ease out behavioural problems-

COMMUNICATE: Talk to your child and ask him for his inputs, encouraging him to provide alternatives where he does not agree. It makes a child feel important.

BE A ROLE MODEL: Exhibit positive behaviours in front of kids. Complete your task on time, deal with others in an appropriate manner, control your temper and don’t have angry outbursts in front of your kids. Children tend to observe everything and follow it later.

SET RULES: Set fixed rules for your children both outside and inside home. Make them understand what they are supposed to do and what they are not supposed to do. Do not impose harsh or unexpected punishments that can damage a child’s sense of self- worth as children are very sensitive.

BE CONSISTENT: Disciplining your child should be a part of daily routine and cannot be implemented only in certain situations. This will only confuse the child about what is right and what is wrong. Discipline the child both at home and out side.

BE SUPPORTIVE: Showing affection and respect will definitely reinforce good and change bad behaviour. Expression of love goes a long way in the development of the child. Be by their side when they need you. Let your kid know how much you care in every situation and especially when they are having problems.