I Choose to be Happy!

Are you happy today? If you are good. If you are not, you have only your self to blame. How is that you ask? I am unhappy because my co-worker got the promotion I should have. I am unhappy because my husband forgot our wedding anniversary. I am unhappy because my neighbour has such a fabulous figure and I cannot seem to loose weight no matter how much I diet.

Happiness is not something you find: it is something you make. True happiness lies within you. A famous quote reads: ‘A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.’ In the flimsy tightrope walk that is life no two moments are alike. We are bombarded with negative stimuli all the time- a stinging remark from your boss, a harsh comment from the husband, a sarcastic comment from your child—which can so easily upset our equilibrium and convince us into thinking that no matter how hard we try, life is tough.

Many of us learn in our childhood years that being unhappy gets us attention, and what we want. We are born loving, innocent and happy. A baby’s cry is an expression of needs- hunger, thirst heat or pain- not one of unhappiness. We are conditioned into unhappiness by the behavior of our parents, peers, teachers and society in general. Think about why a child throws a tantrum. Screaming and bawling gets him what he wants and reinforces his personal belief that being unhappy is the way to be- if he desires something. A teen storms out angrily when her mom declares the curfew rule for a party. She locks herself in the room and sulks until mom relents.

We carry these behaviours into adulthood because they got us the response we wanted. Over a period of time it becomes a successful strategy to live life. Unhappiness becomes a convenient motivating tool to get others to do certain things, or stop them from doing other things. Some people grow up with the belief that you need to be worthy of happiness, that happiness makes you guilty, that pursuing happiness is selfish. But the truth is that we can, as adults challenge these beliefs and create new patterns of thinking that are more productive. No one can make you feel anything you do not want to.

 When we are unable to tap happiness which lies well within us we resort to anti-depressants, that gives us a high. But this is definitely short lived. For long term and healthy approach we should change our attitude to what presents an obstacle in the path of our happiness. The way we choose to see the world creates the world we see. It is simply a choice that you make in life. If only I earned a few thousands more I would be happy. If only I was sent overseas for training, I would be happy. If only I looked like I did in my early twenties, I would be happy- we are always looking for reasons to attach our happiness to. But it is high time we understand that we can be happy even without a reason. Happiness is right inside you. It is for you to decide whether you choose to be happy or not.

NOW HOW TO RAISE YOUR HAPPINESS QUOTIENT-----
*Get enough sleep. Sleep restores and repairs the body and leaves us feeling calm.
*Nurture close relationships. Research has proved that close friendships and marriage can boost one’s positive energies.
*Get enough exercise. The feel good hormone serotonin is released when you work out, giving you a high after a session.
*Choose positive thoughts. We are constantly surrounded by negativity and remember humiliation much longer than we do a compliment.
*Keep a gratitude journal. When we learn to offer thanks for all little blessings in our lives, we begin to see how rich we are.
*Forgive others and let go. Forgiveness is a tough lesson to learn, but an invaluable one to master. We hesitate to forgive, for we believe it makes us week. On the contrary, it takes a lot of courage to forgive.
*Feed your soul. Take a meditation class. Take a rejuvenating bath, read an inspiring book, go for a walk, care for your spirit.
*Give to others. Share what you have been blessed with—knowledge, money or time. In giving those less fortunate lies a deep sense of happiness.
*Smile more often. Smile for no reason. The rearrangement of your features will immediately calm you and put you in a pleasant frame of mind.