Handling mommy Meltdowns

We love our children and our partners more than our selves, but still we want to run away from them. The simple fatigue makes you run away and sometimes break down. Frustration and a feeling of powerlessness can cause this state of mind. Again sometimes it happens when you have too much load of work. This is the time when you end up screaming in a rage or are reduced to tears and sometimes you even lock yourself up in the bathroom. There are many events that

Children have different responses to their mother’s meltdowns. They may feel completely traumatized and they get in a completely confused state of mind. They feel that the strongest person who takes care of everybody and everything that goes wrong in the house, how can she look and feel so helpless. Whenever I have this kind of meltdown my son is very anxious and in order to make me feel better he does what I wanted him to do. He comes and hugs me and says, “Don’t cry mommy”. The best thing to do is to hug your child when he does all these things.

After a meltdown we promise to ourselves that we are not going to behave this way again. But when you are all worked up and there is lack of control over us then only melt down happens. So it is better that you plan what you are going to do when you feel that the meltdown is on its way. We are adults and hence unlike kids we all know when we are going to erupt in rage. Often it is not the behavior of others, but our own sheer exhaustion which causes the trigger. Sometimes these trigger happens because of lack of sleep, when we don’t eat properly or when we may just be physically exhausted.

Talking with your spouse regarding this helps a lot. Tell your husband that you are not a super woman and that you need him to help you out when he is around. Watching you scream and cry is confusing for your husband as well and they find it difficult to understand as to why you are behaving that way. It is much better to sit and talk with him regarding this as to what he is supposed to do even if it is to drive the child to the tennis class or the skating class. 

Some men have the urge to help, but they don’t know as to how they can help because I remember my husband telling me that he is not a mind reader and need to be told what he is supposed to be doing to help me out.

We all talk about over scheduled children, but now it is time to talk about over scheduled moms. Remember you are a human and not a machine and hence learn to say no. If you child wants to take up another activity class and for which you will have to drop and pick him up or for that matter re-arrange your own schedule then say no to it. Choose your commitments carefully so that you can avoid tiring yourself down. When you feel things are heading towards a meltdown try and distract yourself.