I am 22 years old. I am going through a ectopic pregnancy now and have surgery Monday. It is killing me, we have been trying for over a yr to conceive. I've seen doctor after doctor after my betas weren't rising like they should and I was bleeding. Today they told me it was a ectopic, I can't belive. I was given the shot and it was the worst thing I have ever done. It's hard now my baby is alive but there is nothing I can do. I can't be alone or I break down, I can't go to the bathroom because when I see the blood I cry. I'm trying to be strong for my husband but I feel myself slipping into depression. Why us? What could I have possibly done to deserve this? My child doesn't deserve this! I can't even watch baby commercials.
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The grief that you are feeling now is real. Even if you never saw the baby, you knew it was growing inside of you, and you formed a bond. From the moment you concieved you imagined yourself a mother. Its understandably painful, its normal to feel the way you feel now. But please do not turn the responsibility inward. It wasnt your fault, you are not to blame, and you didnt do anything to deserve this. It could have happened to anyone. Certain factors may have increased your risk.Be kind to yourself. Do not compound your sadness with the feelings of guilt. Share your grief with your partner, a close friend or someone who has shared the same loss. This might help but at the same time do not feel compelled to talk to anyone if you dont feel like it. Give yourself enough time to mourn your pregnancy loss. Pl try to remind yourself that you can and you will become pregnant again and give birth to a healthy child. Be positive. For a vast majority of women, a miscarriage is a one time event and actually an indication of future fertility. With all best wishes for a better tomorrow.