Daddy's sweet hearts

Heard of little girls wrapping their daddies around their little finger? Father child relationship is as important and strong as a mother child relationship. Clearly, a child's relationship with their father has long-lasting effects on the child's health and development.

 According to psychologist Dr. Varkha Chulani a child's relationship with their father has an influence on almost every area of a child's life from academic achievement to sexual development to drug use and depression. Even if a father does not live with his children, there is much that can be done to encourage a positive relationship between them. "Spending quality time together and communicating effectively are two of the greatest means of developing a strong relationship between children and their fathers," adds Dr. Chulani. The things that are very important in a father child relationship are involvement and affection.

 While there are some fathers who gingerly pick up their babies, hoping that the child does not choose that moment to purge his excesses, singer Shaan speaks rather proudly of the nappy changing days. "I was present when my two sons were born and my wife and I still laugh over how we completely forgot how to stay calm especially when our first child Soham was born. We were pretty cool with our second child because we were much more experienced. In fact I took a month off from work to spend time with my son Soham and wife, Radhika. That really created a special bond," divulges the devoted dad.  Whether it is spending time in the jungle gym, sharing a slice of pizza or even browsing for books in bookstores, Shaan takes time with his sons seriously and arranges a boy's day out for the three of them regularly. 

 To bring some one into this world is a big responsibility in itself. When a healthy, normal child is born, you have to ensure that there are no mishaps. "I want my child to face all situations. I spend my Sundays with my kids, when I teach them not to lie, to share and to grow up and become good human beings,” says Shaan. Fathers should be more involved with their children. They should give their children as much attention as possible. They should have a lot of fun time together like they should play, learn something together and read together. Sometimes a father should come down to the level of children and talk with each other as friends. Fathers as well as mothers should give their grown up children the freedom to choose their own clothes and sometimes even allow them to make their own purchases with restricted money given to them. This independence with little restriction helps in the development of the child. Children adore fathers who give gentle yet firm guidance to them. A child should not necessarily be a silent listener. Fathers should also be responsive to their kid’s suggestions. Fathers should always be involved in their kid’s activities and should not be overtly dominating or permissive. He should ideally follow the middle path.

 It is often said that parents try to fulfill their own disappointed ambitions through their children. Fashion designer Lascylles Simmon finds this true, particularly when it comes to his daughter's playthings. I have brought my daughter a PSP, PS2 and recently a Nitendo DS from New Zealand. Even during her Van Helsing phase, I sourced out a rare out-of-production doll for him, which soon had only one arm and leg. So, I moved to books. Then I realized that the books that I brought for her were either the ones I couldn't buy in school or the ones that I loved. So now my wife, Pallavi buys all her toys and books," laughs Simmon. 

 When it comes to caring for his son on a daily basis, Shaan's occupation keeps him away from home during the day but otherwise the doting dad believes in doing as much as he can when it comes to rearing his son. "I make sure I am present at all the events and functions that matter to my sons like the annual days in school or a sports day."

In terms of values, lyricist Javed Akhter believes that a child reflects what he sees. "If you want your child to read, then read in front of him. If you want him to respect you as parents, ask yourself do you respect your parents? Home is the biggest place to learn lessons."  By expressing gentle affection to their children fathers send message to their kids that they are very special and that is what makes a relationship strong.